Eighteen is the magic number we have somehow managed to assign to adulthood. It is a number which seems to be international, and yet no indication of maturity. Even in differing cultures with differing family structures, child services has decided that when the biological clock hits one – eight, a teen is no longer their responsibility. In America at 18 it is normal for kids to move out, either to college or into the work force where they pay to support themselves and peruse their dreams. Westerners value goal orientation and self-sufficiency, cultivating independence from a young age. It is the framework of many European societies. Here in Brazil, young adults most often live with their families until marriage. When you turn 18, even if you enter the work force (and jobs are difficult to come by), you stay with your family and use the finances earned to contribute to the household. This household will often consist of a single mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and several siblings, with their children. In a warm climate culture, community and family is the nucleus of life. You transition only with marriage when a new nucleus is formed. Relationships are both the goal and vehicle of all movement here. This is a huge issue for children who are aging out of orphanages and rescue homes at age 18, with no where to go but back to the streets.
18 to 22 year olds are considered a very high risk age group even in America. These are the years where you sink or swim. Decisions are made, personalities traits solidify, and relationships are forged that follow you for the rest of your life. Transition age youth have one of the highest rates of drug / alcohol addiction, violence and crime. It is a time of self-actualization and change that tests even those who were raised by supportive families in privileged areas. Weather in the states, or Brazil, these years come with challenges, falls, and victories that no one was meant to navigate alone. Yet, there are few public resources available to help.
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everal years in the states I worked with teenagers navigating their way through and out of social services as they came into adulthood. I never imagined then dealing with the lack of care options in America, that I would soon be applying what I learned in another nation. Here in Brazil, there are no transition homes, or housing options offered to children without families when they turn 18. Our safe house (Project Bethany) has been open for almost 2 years now, and several of our girls are aging out the system. So with the start of 2018, we have a rented an apartment to house girls 18-22. Here they will live with a staff member to help them transition to independence over the next four years. We’ve wrapped this move with support including life skills, strength identification, and resume development. As you probably already know, children who have endured severe traumas, often have gaps in identity formation. Expecting them to live a “normal” life on their own at 18 when many of them are still years behind in high school from surviving the streets, is unrealistic. I feel very lucky to be so closely involved in this step of their journey. As one of the mentors at Project Bethany said as she blessed the girls on the night we opened their apartment, “I was there the day you moved into the safe house. I remember how scared you were and you all the struggles you passed; to look at you now, I am overwhelmed with how much you have overcome. I am so proud of you. If I was your mother, I would be so proud to call you my daughters.”